His illness is written on my body.
Eating excessively for the past six months, I've gained forty pounds, accumulating layers of fat. I tie my intestines in square knots, turn my emotions into sausages, blocking, holding on.
As if I become heavy enough, weighty enough, I might anchor him in place.
About Me
- Carolyn Hill
- When I first started on Blogger, my handle was "Ratty", maintaining anonymity so that in my "Rat in the Walls" blog I could write about my brother's fatal illness without giving away his identity. Under that pseudonym, I could voice things I couldn't elsewhere. Rats thrive in the dark. ::: Now, five years after his death in 2008, I'm coming out of the walls and reclaiming my humanity.
3 comments:
Too bad you can't give him some of those pounds.
Whatever it takes to keep going, if food is a comfort, so be it. That and good friends and family.
Be strong for him, whom we all care about although we know him only in his blog.
Take care ratty, of him and yourself
jmb
{{Hug}} I just read Brainhell's entire blog (nearly). Words are hard to find. Or at least, the right words. Just know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
If you thought it might help, I would gain a few more pounds as well.
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