Rain was lashing the windows. Joni Mitchell songs were playing on the computer.
And my little brother took his last breath.
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About Me
- Carolyn Hill
- When I first started on Blogger, my handle was "Ratty", maintaining anonymity so that in my "Rat in the Walls" blog I could write about my brother's fatal illness without giving away his identity. Under that pseudonym, I could voice things I couldn't elsewhere. Rats thrive in the dark. ::: Now, five years after his death in 2008, I'm coming out of the walls and reclaiming my humanity.
9 comments:
I am just so very sorry. That's it, just so very sorry. Thanks for sharing him with us.
Ratty, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for keeping in touch with us, keeping us up-to-date along the road and posting the lovely photo with his cheeky message.
My condolences also to his lovely wife and beautiful children. His love for them always shone forth from his blog.
Take care
jmb
I'm so sorry, too, Ratty, and I can only echo the gratitude and condolences of everyone else here. May your little brother's light shine in your heart forever.
Dear Ratty, I am so very sorry. {{Hug}}
Years ago, I was in a similar position in terms of helping a sibling and loving them until they died. It was left to me to do the computer communications, be the buffer for those so profoundly affected by her loss. And somewhere in that, I got lost. I let myself get lost because my parents had suffered so, having to lose their eldest child after years of debilitating illness.
It's a tough position to be in and I just want you to know how much I empathize and sympathize with you.
Your closeness to BH was beautiful to witness. I know the tightrope you walked a little bit. Just don't forget to let yourself grieve too. And BH was so proud and appreciative of you. He loved you so much. Hold onto that. You have done an incredible thing being there for him and his wife and children and I imagine, everyone.
I just wanted to be sure to tell you how special you are. If BH were able to tell you that now, I know he would.
BH will forever be fixed in my heart and memory as saying "I had...fun!" and Joni Mitchell is never going to be heard without my stopping to fully listen to every nuance of her songs. Thank you for sharing this experience with us.
You are in my thoughts now and in the coming days. Feel free to email me anytime. I've gone through this a few times now, still going through it somewhat, and I'm a good listener and supporter.
I wrote about my grief a bit after my parents passed, at my Leafing blog. http://leafing2.blogspot.com/
If it helps, feel free to read it there.
Much Love and Respect and {{Hugs}} always,
Carrie
Ontario, Canada
Oh, dear, Ratty-as I have probably commented before, my siblings are so important to me. I cannot imagine your grief. I wish I could help, and I rest a bit easier in the knowledge that you have in-real-life support. Thinking of you, all the time.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your brother was a beautiful person.
Oh gee.
Out of all the posts and comments that have been made since BH's death, this one hit me the hardest Ratty. Your simple words make it real. My thoughts are with you.
Stephanie
I've lurked on your brother's website for quite sometime, never quite knowing what to say. My thoughts are with you, his wife, children and his extended family.
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