We've had two serious extended-family meetings in the last two days, facilitated by a clinical psychologist. The process was painful in some ways, but overall, remarkably freeing. Open and direct communication helps.
One of the good things was that the kids got a chance to participate in part of the second meeting. They asked questions, received answers, and--I think--were reassured to hear the adults talk about illness and dying. The dark curtain of secrecy has been drawn aside, and yes, there is a scary monster behind that curtain, but it's less scary because we all sat in that room facing it together, rather than huddled in separate groups whispering secrets.
About Me
- Carolyn Hill
- When I first started on Blogger, my handle was "Ratty", maintaining anonymity so that in my "Rat in the Walls" blog I could write about my brother's fatal illness without giving away his identity. Under that pseudonym, I could voice things I couldn't elsewhere. Rats thrive in the dark. ::: Now, five years after his death in 2008, I'm coming out of the walls and reclaiming my humanity.
2 comments:
That's great Ratty. Any help at all, from whatever source, that can get you all through this terrible ordeal. I have been thinking about the children and, because they are so young, how upset they must be. Yet BH needs to be with you all, for however long it may be.
Be strong.
jmb
I think a gentle honesty is exactly the right approach, which I suppose means no more than it's what I would do in a similar situation. I was in my early 40s when my mother died but was kept in the dark somewhat, and wish I hadn't been. Granted, I'm far from being a child, but I just wanted to say I very much admire the openness, and the respect and care being shown to the children. As well as the fact that people currently in similar situations have these blogs so that they don't feel so alone and overwhelmed, I imagine they must be a comfort and a source of strength to many people.
Post a Comment